Tuesday, April 25, 2017

FRIENDSHIPS, RAINY DAYS AND SUNDAYS



Friendships, Rainy days and Sundays
Jpkallikkal©2017
Friends are forever, so are friendships that last a lifetime. Trust, Affection, Love and Respect are four pillars on which friendships rest.
I have had innumerable friends since my early years. Many faces that came, connected and melted away with time.
What is friendship?
I guess for each age, friendship has a different meaning. Kindergarten and nursery has friends who are for play. Little bonds that the instant, immediate and centered around games and play. In loses friends are lost and in wins new hearts are won. Teenage and youth bring changes beyond one’s comprehension. One develops liking for unlikeliest faces and a tendency to connect with like minded leaders or followers set pace to striking friendships. Tastes, hobbies, skills, ideologies, social and economic status could determine friendships with exceptions that could have a biological or chemical deviation when looks, styles and mannerisms tilt conditions.
However maturity drives one home to a point of reality. Friendships attain larger meaning and transcend boundaries of merely sentimental value. They attain new dimensions in terms of. Social and financial position, health, comforts and awareness. An element of unconditional love, liking and desire germinate in terms of sharing thoughts, dreams and aspirations.
Friendship of teenage and youth tends to linger on in memories for long. They ingrain in them platonic and nostalgic elements too. They are the most innocent and open relationships that are cherished by individuals for their carefree unconditional associations that are revived cyclically over later periods in life.
Professional, Educational, Social and Family connections permeate yet another shade of friendship. These friendships though conditioned and partitioned in layers of likes, tastes, attitudes and affiliations, develop bonds between people that could be encompassed in circles of unrestricted time zones. They may begin at a juncture and fade out once the purpose for which such friendships are struck, complete their period of necessity. However some unique stroke of similarity and liking help people select few individuals who keep the bond active for long.
Turn around in Friendships
How long would friendships last? Would they last a life time?
If in the question above, ‘would’ is replaced by ‘should’ the equations change.
So long as friendships are unconditional they tend to remain healthy and free of valuation. But in a world where the pace of life and materialism seeps into the fabric of social and cultural ethos, friendships are increasingly becoming conditional with questions about viability, sustenance and suitability is questions again and again by individuals.
Change in social and economic status, attainment of higher professional qualifications; Alteration in health levels of self or family, change in preferences owing to behavioral and occupational patterns, Smoking, alcoholism and drug abuse also dramatically alter the friendship equations among individuals.
Another dimension of friendship is emerging with advent of social media today. On one hand new friendships are stuck and some turn deeper than the earlier ones. The main reason for it is the possibility of exploring inner desires, perceptions and fantasies that remain dormant in real life. Virtual release of emotions and expressions in a controlled manner directed at individuals who like, empathize and share common dreams and aspirations also form new bonds and friendships on the other new found friendships vaporize and vanish into thin air into obscure spaces of nothingness owning to various reasons.
Are friendships deeper than relationships?
A frequent question that arises in our minds is the percentage of weight to be attributed to relationships and friendships. This could be in terms of time, money, efforts or sacrifices. The last component mentioned here i.e ‘Sacrifice’, in reality is an invisible thread that strengthens bond between people.
The reason for mismatch in behavior and actions generally arise out of incompatibilities. Incompatibilities arise out unreasonable yardsticks, lack of capability or absence of sacrifice. Friendships score a point above relationships as there is a lack of challenge and responsibility that gets attached to relationships. The moment a friendship acquires the confidence of taking up responsibility it would transform into a relationship.
The reason children, teenagers and youth turn to friendships putting at stake their relationships is easily a reflection of a light hearted wish to remain outside the realms of responsibility and accountability. However it does not mean that friendships are outside the borders of these elements. Friendships too like relationships have demarcated boundaries that are generally flexible. The border posts are decided by mutual consent that remain within comfort levels. The moment any one of the parties turn rigid, friendships snap.
The same cannot be true for relationships. Half of the relationships are decided by birth and genetic connections the other half are extensions of friendships where individuals decide to bond keeping in view their likes and desires. The problem is once a person extends his journey of a friendship and treads into the border of relationship the rules of the game change. What ensues would be solely dependent upon actions, gestures and sacrifices of individuals.
This could be the very reason why some individuals can handle friendships and relationships with relative ease, while others stutter with both. I believe the wisdom of preferences and choices are inherent to individuals. It could be the choice of colors, food, music, lifestyles, people, fragrances, locations, profession, hobbies etc. the root to knowing one’s heart is the primary step to good friendships.
Strength of friendship
The deep craving of individuals to bond between self and soul gets reflected in friendships. The strength of friendship is the invisible bond of affection and love that on the surface remain calm as a serene sea of tranquil peacefulness. As human race progresses in terms of technology, economics and science, human genes struggle to latch on to emotions and chemistry of desires to surface in friendships. Perhaps friendships would last longer in an open regime of human sensibility where little joys and bonds bring relief from a continuous barrage of challenges and deadlines that complex water tight relationships throw up at individuals. This would be the very strength of friendship.
If relationships are equated with rainy days, sometimes they can be dull, mournful, sorrow filled and painful experiences, while at other times they may be times for poetry, desires, passions and Joys. Just as Sundays are welcome after a hectic week filled with appointments and schedules, friendships are fresh lease of life that livens up our life. This does not mean all friendships remain friendships forever. Some snap while others bloom into unforgettable relationships.
If you are someone who is sensible, responsible, reasonable and willing to take up challenges strike a friendship and let it grow into an everlasting relationship!
Happy Friendship Day

Jpkallikkal/2014©

1 comment:

Mannil Krishnan - Mannil Vikraman

മണ്ണിൽ കൃഷ്ണനെ അറിയുന്ന ഞാൻ     എന്റെ ബാല്യകാല സ്മരണകളിൽ അവധിക്കെത്തുന്ന കൃഷ്ണേട്ടയാണ് ഇന്നും. പ്രൗഢഗംഭീരമായ നടത്തവും കൃശഗാത്രനാണെങ്കി...